Dear creepy guy at the gym

1. I'm wearing headphones. 

2. Above-mentioned headphones are an indication I am not interested in talking. 

3. I am half your age. 

4. Why do you always seem to be in the vicinity? 

5. Does my completely flat, businesslike attitude focused entirely on gym equipment not convey a lack of interest? 

6. Do you realize my trainer has moved me across the gym floor because your creeping was so obvious to everyone but you? 

7. You're staring at me when I do squats and deadlifts which is the most awkward thing ever. 

8. I'm going to do them anyway, because that's what I came here for. 

9. Stop trying to catch my eye. I'm legitimately going to get a towel, and it's not an elaborate excuse to be near you, and actually if you were paying attention you could tell that I took a long convoluted way to not be in your vicinity on the way to the towels. 

10. I know if I were a better person spiritually I would have some compassion for you, but that particular chakra is closed for business at the moment.